I swore I would not have one in my house!

Animal mounts; while some can be very pretty, they are still dead animals and I swore I would not have one in my house! I like them in some homes. I think they fit nicely with their decor, but a dead animal head has never been in my vision for my home. However, after this weekend, I'm afraid that vision is going to have to change.
Yep, those are my mighty hunters, and that is the deer head I'm destined to look at for years to come. I will admit, it is a beautiful animal with a very big set of antlers, but come on girls, doesn't anyone feel my pain!
I could hear the excitement in Brett's voice when he called to report the kill. Dylan was there and even though he did not get to shoot at it because they were walking to their stand and his gun was unloaded, he too was fired up! When they told me it was big enough they were thinking about having it mounted, I actually encouraged it. No, I have not lost my mind. Anyone who could have heard their excitement would have done the same.
So, I have decided that when it finds it's place in our home, I will look at it not as a dead animal, but as a memento of a successful father son hunt. And while I will tolerate it for the boys I love, they will look at it with pride every time they pass it. They will remember the time they spent together; Dylan's first year of hunting with his dad. For that reason, I will have one in my house.
Now, the only decision left to make... upstairs or down..... I'm holding my breath!

A Real Hero

A hero is someone we look up to. This summer my children were lucky enough to meet one of their hero's. Thanks to some wonderful people they got to sit in the lap of Albert Pujols. I have no problem deeming Albert worthy of admiration. He is not only a great athlete (MVP 2008!), but also a great christian role model. I was thrilled for my kids to have that once in a lifetime opportunity. However, my kids (and I) also have a hero of a different type. This type of hero comes from each of our small towns. They know the true meaning of sacrifice and understand the cost of our freedom. They rise to a call of duty with a strength and courage most of us wonder if we even posses. They are the brave men and women we call American Soldiers. They are the true heroes.

My cousin, Captain Christopher McLin, flies a Harrier for the Marines. He has spent the last seven months defending our freedoms in Afghanistan. Dylan is obsessed with fighter jets. He thinks Christopher is as cool as it gets. I can think of no one better for him to admire. Dylan never let one night pass when he didn't ask God to "help Christopher stay safe and fly safe." God answered his prayers. Christopher made it home to North Carolina two weeks ago and home, home earlier this week. Last night he was our guest of honor. It was so great to have him home. There weren't enough hugs to give or enough time for all the catching up there was to do.

As kids Christopher and I spent weekends together at the "log cabin". It was where I first learned to shoot a pistol. Taking target practice at the empty soda cans was great fun, maybe not all that safe, but great fun none the less. When he and my brother were old enough to hunt on their own they would take me along as the "middle woman". Since I have never taken my hunters safety course I cannot carry a gun. So, they would send me into the middle of a draw where all the stick tights and throned trees are and I would walk up the middle hoping to scare out a deer to either of their sides.
We attended high schools that competed against each other in all sports. I would always cheer for our team, my brother was playing, but I always wanted him to do well too. That is, until one track meet we had to run against each other... We were so small they had the boys and the girls run the two mile together. I beat him. It is the only time I remember wanting him to lose!
When Brett and I got married we had a candle lit wedding. The pastor that married us will still say (ten years later) "the most candles I've ever seen." We knew we needed special people for the job of candle lighters. Of course, one of them we chose was Christopher (much to his dismay, I'm sure).
Last year when I got ready to take on the biggest physical challenge of my life it was Christopher who agreed to "go the distance" with me. He had already run the marathon the year before and finished in under 4 hours. His knees are bad and he knew that doing it again would only make them worse, but he did it anyway. He ran step for step, mile for mile right along side of me. Differing from our high school days, it was he who could have left me behind at any moment, but he didn't. He stayed at my slow six hour pace, sometimes even walking, just to encourage me and get me to that finish line. He did.
In all those years of knowing each other as family we've also always been friends. I have always loved and admired him. But, as I have watched him peruse his dream of being a fighter pilot, and now serve his country, I too look at him a little differently, admire him a little more. I know he is a hero. As a parent all we can really hope for our children is that they are able to recognize the talents that God has given them and work hard at putting them to use. That they will know when the sacrifice is worth the battle and learn to stand up for what they believe in. I am thankful that my kids have a hero like that to look up to.

One of those weeks...

I have now quoted Philippians 4:6-7 more than once on here. I love that scripture. It is the promise that even though trials and struggles will come, as God's children we have a Father who can give us other wise unattainable peace. "Peace that transcends all understanding." I am thankful for that promise.

Sunday morning we were able to attend the first service of revival at the church Brett grew up attending. The invited pastors included my childhood pastor, Brother Bob, as well as Brett's, Brother Tim. It was a great opportunity to hear them both again. As I listened to Brother Bob sing I could literally close my eyes and picture myself back in our family pew on Sunday mornings at the First Baptist Church in Atlanta. I will admit it was both uplifting and nostalgic. Brother Tim brought the message and while I have only heard him speak a limited number of times, I knew that he would deliver a God inspired sermon. He actually spoke on Philippians 4:6-7 and reconfirmed why I have such great love for that passage. It was a wonderful way to start our week.

I guess coming off a high like that you hope for the week to go the same. However, sometimes it does not. This week has not been particularly bad, nor particularly good (and yes, I know it's just Tuesday). It's just one of those weeks...
It's one of those weeks you want to pass quickly and yet you feel guilty for wishing it away. It's one of those weeks your to do list is a mile long and nothing seems to get checked off. It's one of those weeks that your intentions are great but reality seems mundane. It's just one of those weeks...

When that kind of week hits I always find it helpful to count my blessings. Sometimes I count them quietly in my head, other times jot them on scrap paper, but today I'm blogging them (Well, a short list of them anyway) so that I can share them with you. The old song says, "Count your blessings, name them one by one", so here we go. Today God has blessed me with (in no particular order):

1. Tiny voices who lovingly call me "Mom"
2. Giant hugs and soft kisses
3. The question "will you hold me" and the time to do it
4. 49 days seizure free
5. A fresh pot of coffee
6. Health
7. A mid-day phone call from my husband to check on my day
8. Fat Free, sugar free, guilt free Chocolate pie (thanks, Sherry)
9. Friends to share the above with
10. Clean, folded and put away laundry
11. Christmas decorations and the way the house looks when the tree in the corner is lit. (Yes... I've started putting everything out and YES, I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet. I just LOVE Christmas)

While my list could go on and on these are the things that come to mind today. Just focusing on the blessings helps to lift my spirits. There are always things to be thankful for. Mostly I am thankful that God is God. I am just thankful for who He is.

So, leave a comment... What are you thankful for today?

Daily Blessings

Having a child with a disability has taught me so many things. One of the more important lessons is learning to see the ways God blesses us every day especially in the small things . Obviously there is nothing extraordinary about going to Wal Mart. In fact, if your like me I almost dread having to go. Logan on the other hand loves to go however, it has always been exhausting for him. A typical trip would consist of lots of stumbling, tripping, struggling to keep up and then resorting to putting him in the cart which he is too big for. We usually keep it as short as possible because it tires him out so much.

Since switching medicine Logan has been so much better. I really feel guilty that we did not see the effects the other medicine was having and insist on changing it sooner. I did not realize what a fog he was in until he came out of it. Since the new medicine and no seizures we feel like we have Logan back. He's falling much less, requiring less sleep, has more energy and just acts like he feels so much better. That in its self is a huge blessing.

Tonight we made our Wednesday night trip to Wal Mart. I got a cart and put my jacket in the basket for extra padding when he would no longer be able to keep up walking. We mosied from isle to isle checking out all of the all too early Christmas decorations. Logan chattered non stop. We took our time looking at the newest movie releases. He showed me the ones we "have on tape, but don't have the movie (DVD)" and of course the very long list of the ones he would like to have. He continued to chatter and take it all in while we walked over most of the store. As we were finishing up I realized that he had not yet ridden in the cart, he had not even fallen down, nor fallen behind. I looked down at my watch and realized that he had been walking around Wal Mart for almost an hour and he was showing no signs of wearing out. I got down at his level and gave him a big hug in the middle of the isle. I said, "I'm so proud of you." He said, "But why?"
"Because, you are an amazing little boy."

Now, to most mothers a trip to Wal Mart with their 5 year old would most always go like our trip tonight. Most mothers don't realize the blessing of their child being able to walk through a department store with out being exhausted. Most mothers take for granted the ease with wich their children move around. I know, I used to be one of those mothers. When God blessed our lives with Logan he also blessed us with the realization of how much we have always taken for granted. Daily blessings are all around us. Sometime it takes enduring the bad to appreciate the good; getting through the struggle to appreciate the easy.

It is easy to wonder why God allows struggles to happen in our lives. I all too often question Him when we are faced with yet another obsticle. But, I realize that if this life were always easy, we'd never long for a better place. If we never endured the struggles, we'd never see the daily blessings.

NO GIRLS ALLOWED!!

If you really want to get Dylan going, ask him if he has a girlfriend. That will do it every time! At Dylan's age, girls are gross. And, while I agree that he is too young to worry about girls, I wouldn't mind to see him "like" one or two. But, he is insistent that they are JUST FRIENDS! And to insinuate anything else sends him into a tizzy!
Dylan's birthday falls at a bad time of year. It is always right at deer season, Thanksgiving and a month before Christmas. There just never seems to be a good time to have his party. So, this year I thought I'd get it done early so that it did not become another event on the list at the end of November.
Since he entered Kindergarten he has wanted to have a "friends" party. The dilemma is always who to invite. Some of the girls in his class always invite the boys to their party. But, Dylan never wants to return the favor... NO GIRLS ALLOWED! His idea of a great time is getting his closest buddies together to romp outside and do all that wonderfully dirty stuff boys like to do. This year he wanted to have a hot dog roast at his Nana and Papa's. I told him I would be glad to have as many or whom ever he would like (trying to hint that he could invite some of the girls in his class), but he had a different vision for the party than I did. Invitations to five of his best friends was all he wanted.
The night was filled with boy fun. A hayride filled with scary stories, a bonfire with hot dogs and s'mores, running in the dark, wrestling, and peeing on trees! Later we did coral them long enough to take in a good movie. And, outside of me not planning quite enough time to fit it all in, a great time was had by all.
As I watched him pal around with the guys, it made me realize all the fun that lies ahead. I thought about the times they will play football and basketball in the yard, then on teams. About the times they will spend playing video games in the basement. About the times they will spend just hanging out together. I know that girls will come all too soon. Girls will enter the picture and less of the "hanging with the guys" time will happen. I am sure that that will be a wonderful time too. But, for now, NO GIRLS ALLOWED is okay with me!

Flowers for no reason

I've never been a girl to turn down flowers. I appreciate the thought no matter the occasion. I enjoy flowers on my anniversary, birthday and for valentines day. I do not need fancy gifts, flowers will do. I appreciate flowers after an argument. I am a sucker for the make-up bouquet! But, I never appreciate them more than when they are for no reason at all.
Yesterday my doorbell rang and when I opened the door this beautiful bouquet of flowers was waiting on me. I tore open the card to find the words "Hope you are having a good day. I love you, Brett". There is simply no better reason to get flowers than for no reason.
Too often we, as women, are quick to share with our friends when our husbands have done something that got under our skin or hurt our feeling, as they all do. But, we are not as quick to brag on them when they do something wonderful, like send flowers.
So, while this blog is not lengthy or earth shattering it is merely a thank you to my husband who was thoughtful enough to send flowers for no reason.

Peppermint with Just a Hint of Mocha

Regress. According to Webster to regress means to move backward to a previous and especially worse or more primitive state or condition. Regress. There is just nothing good about that word, and it has been weighing especially heavy on my heart this week.

Last Monday we took Logan to St. Louis to see another doctor. This doctor, among other things, told us that most kids with ESES (Electrical Status Epilepticus during Sleep) do regress. While we have a lot of great doctors we also, on occasion, see those that are more interested in hearing themselves talk and insist on giving us the "worst case scenario" kind of news. I know they have to tell us all the possibilities, but it just amazes me how they seem to forget or do not know that God is bigger than any degree, or medical condition. God knows no limits. He is not limited by a diagnosis or disability.

I am not doubting that kids with ESES do regress. I am sure that it is a medical fact and not this doctors opinion. I would be lying if I said that the thought of it does not scare me to death. I would be lying if I told you that I do not lay awake at night begging God to protect Logan from this regression. I know that the possibility of Logan regressing is real. I don't like it, but I am not in denial. However, I refuse to let it take over my thoughts and I refuse to let fear and worry dictate my attitude. I do not know what tomorrow holds for Logan, or for any of us for that matter, but I don't know what worrying about it will accomplish. What I do know is that today he has not regressed. God is bigger than ESES, and He will determine Logan's tomorrow.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

This doctor also questioned the capacity of Logan's ability to learn. Since Logan was diagnosed with cerebral palsy I have prayed that God would help me not too see him through smoke filled glasses. I want to love and appreciate him just the way he is, but I also do not want to be oblivious to the obstacles he faces. I really believe that God has and will continue to answer that prayer. I have never been in denial or unwilling to get him the help he needs because I refuse to see things the way they really are. In the same token, I have also tried very hard not to put limits on what Logan will be able to accomplish. It has seemed like every time a limit has been set, he has broken right through it. Like I said before, God knows no limits and I certainly do not want to limit His power with my lack of faith.

So, this doctor says that Logan has a limited learning capacity... well, I am just sitting back smiling (although not at the time). Yes, smiling. I smile because I know he is wrong. I smile because I believe that God will use this diagnosed limit like all the others... another way to show his sovereignty. I believe that at some meeting in the future this doctor will see how Logan has surpassed all of his limited expectations and God will be glorified because of it. I am the first to admit that along the way Logan will have limits, we all do. Logan my not be an honor student, or the valedictorian of his class, and maybe not even in the top half of his graduating class, but I do not believe that he has a limited capacity to learn.

Yesterday when I laid down with him at nap time I too felt a little sleepy. I let out a big yawn. Logan sniffed the air as my breath escaped my mouth and said, "Mmmmm.... Peppermint, with just a hint of mocha." After I laughed until my stomach hurt, I asked him where he had heard that. He said it was on Mickey's Twice upon a Christmas. Now with his "limited capacity to learn" he not only remembered the exact line, but also determined a completely appropriate time to use it. I just do not believe that he will not continue to learn. He is a wonderfully smart little boy with a wit and sense of humor that brings a smile to my face and to the faces of all who know him. God knows no limits.

I believe that this doctor is wrong. I believe that Logan has already proven that and will continue to do so. Still, even if God does not choose to continue to stop the regression and even if Logan has learning disabilities we will know that God is in control. I know that Logan's tomorrow is not in the hands of cerebral palsy, epilepsy, or ESES, but in God's.

Date Night

High school was a wonderful time in my life. I really do look back at those years with more good memories than bad. Still, I would not choose to relive those times even if I could. I do not miss them, nor would I change things, well, most things anyway. I do, however, miss Friday and Saturday night being date night. I miss the anticipation of spending time with your significant other, putting on your best outfit, waiting for that special someone to pull in the drive and having time for just the two of you. I miss going on dates.

God has truly blessed me with a wonderful husband. Brett and I are good about making time for each other. He is so good about coming home and dropping everything to just sit and talk. He takes time to listen about the things the kids or I had going on and then takes time to tell me about his day. I love that time. I love that he includes me in the parts of his day that I cannot be there for. He's good about calling or emailing while he is at work just to say hi or how are you. He's good about being home when he can. He is busy. I sometimes hate his job because of the time it demands, but I can always count on him to be here when he can. He loves to hunt and play golf, but does those very little because he chooses to spend time with us when he's not at work. Those are some of the things I love most about him. I love going to football games together. I love to stand out in the cold and cheer on our team with all of our friends around. I love going out to supper with our friends when we can all sit around and catch up or just hang out. But, I miss date night.

I love our family. I love the time we are all together. I love when the kids are running through the house and laughing. I love sitting down together to play a game. I love going out to eat together when we can just talk about school or what ever else has been going on. I love having movie night together. I love playing wii together. I love going on vacation together. I LOVE our family time. But, I miss date night.

So, am I selfish to want my husband all to my self for the evening? Am I a bad mother to want a night with just Brett and I? Am I a bad friend to want my husband all to my self instead of sharing him with the group? Am I a bad wife to want to be asked out on a date once in a while?
I MISS DATE NIGHT!

Catching up

Since my last blog we have: celebrated a month with no "real" seizure, gone on our first hunting excursion, played dress up for Halloween, and watched as America elected a new president. There is just no good way to combine all of that into one blog, but I'm going to try.

November 2 marked our ONE MONTH milestone with no terrifying seizures. This is the longest Logan has gone without a seizure since they started in June of 2007. We did call the doctors about the laughing episodes, and they are not sure that they really were seizures and the good news is they have not happened again. So, assuming they were not, ONE MONTH seizure FREE is certainly something to celebrate. We are praising God for answered prayer!

Dylan and Brett spent all weekend searching for a deer, ANY deer that Dylan could take his first shot at. After HOURS of sitting and waiting no deer ever came their way, well none ever close enough to actually take a shot at anyway. There was some disappointment but as Dylan the now "expert" on hunting said, "That's just the way it goes sometimes, Mom." I know that even with the unsuccessful hunt, both dad and son enjoyed the time they got to spend together outdoors. They chalked it up to bad luck and are now counting down the days to regular season when they can try their luck again. I am just thankful that eveyrone came home saftly each night.

Halloween. Well, what can I say? It came it, it went, and we were all exhausted. We started our trick or treating tour in La Plata, then made our way to Atlanta, Macon, and back to Shelbina. By the end of the night Peter Pan was dying to just be Logan again and our Soldier was, like most soldiers, just ready to be home! When we tucked them into bed I told Brett that I would give Logan 3 days before he decided what he wanted to be next year. Well, 18 hours later the decision had been made! Alvin it is... and of course dad should be Dave, Dylan should be Simon and I should be Brittany. A shout out to all you Alvin and the chipmunk fans! We'll see if it sticks.

Last night we, like most Americans, were glued to our television as the nations waited to see who would be elected to the most powerful office in the world. While you all know that my candidate did not win, I woke this morning ready to do the only thing I know to do and that is pray. Pray for our new leader and the direction he will take us. Pray that his liberal views will be replaced with Godly wisdom. And, pray that at the end of his four year tearm we are a better America. Our Bible study this morning said this:

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated a the the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on eartly thing." Colossians 3:1-2

I know that God is in controll. The president, while powerful here on earth, has no power compared to our Heavely Father. We, as Christians, are called to set our minds on the things of Heaven and not on the things of earth. I believe it is our duty to pray for our leaders and pray that they too will seek Godly wisdom, but know that even if they do not, God is in controll and his Will will be done reguardless of whom holds the office of President in the great country we live in.

So, to sum up this hodge podge blog. We are feeling blessed. Blessed by health, answered prayers, safety, and the knowledge that our God is an Awesome God and He is always in control.