Dare to Hope

One thing about hope is that hope is scary. Anyone who dares to hope runs the risk of disappointment. There is joy and fear in hoping for more than we have. There is joy in hope because it allows us to live for something more, look forward to something better. God’s word encourages us to hope, but to what extent are we allowed and should we hope for anything more than what God has already done for us? My very favorite verse is found in Jeremiah. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I think that I have shared that before. I love that verse and not because I think that He is speaking of the worldly view of prosper or hope, but a hope in things to come beyond what we can see. I like knowing that there is a plan. I like knowing that we are allowed, and even encouraged to hope.


Yesterday, Brett and I sat in the waiting room of the Neurology department at Children’s Hospital. We watched as parent after parent joined us. We noticed the look on the face of one mother carrying her new baby and our hearts were saddened knowing the pain of the early start on this journey she was about to embark. We thought about the many unknowns and how scary those first few years were waiting and wondering how this thing, this diagnosis, would affect our child. Those are not years I would want back. I looked at her eyes and knew that place of uncertainty and fear. I wanted to tell her it would be okay. I wanted to assure her that there is life after this, or better yet, life with this. I wanted to give her hope.


The truth is Brett and I have come to a place of acceptance when it comes to Cerebral Palsy and our son. Not to say that we do not have our days when we find ourselves wishing for something better for him, but for the most part we are satisfied and thankful for where we are in this journey God has given us. We talked as we waited about how living this has given us the gift of perspective. In our pre-children days when we thought about our future family we imagined our children living lives similar to our own. We imagined our children loving sports like we had and hoping they would spend their school years competing in the things we grew up competing in. Perspective has changed the importance of that. While we do have two boys who love sports, we know the reality is that Logan will probably never be a star athlete. Sometimes it is easy to be sad for him because he loves them so much, but perspective has allowed us to understand that God has a bigger plan for our children than what they achieve on the athletic fields of their youth. Perspective is a gift and we are thankful for it. However, yesterday we were given hope in a way we have only dreamed about.


There is a new study being done linking Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy to folic acid deficiency in the brain and spinal fluid. Logan’s doctor talked to us about it with great excitement. She told us about a new drug made just for this deficiency and how it has already helped one of her patients dramatically. Logan will have a spinal tap done in the coming months to test his levels. At the end of her medical explanation she looked at us and said (as if to sum it up in a way we could understand), “If there is ever a time to hope, do it now.” We are. We are allowing ourselves to hope and pray that this could be a huge step in the right direction for Logan. Hope, today, is a wonderful thing and we are doing it fearlessly. We are doing it fearlessly because we know that God is in control and He will decide if this is what’s best for Logan. We will hope and rejoice in Him no matter the outcome. “And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” - Romans 5:5. We will hope because we can.