Brave

If you have ever been to Disney World, you have probably seen the laserlight show at Hollywood Studio’s. When Logan was granted a Dream Factory trip there last summer, it was one of his favorite shows we went to. In the production, Mickey is faced with a ferocious, fire-breathing dragon. But, the dragon is no match for the brave Mickey as he slays him and is the hero of his own worst nightmare. So, when Logan knew he had to endure his Botox injections again this past Monday, he said he was going to “be brave like Mickey when he slays the dragon”. He was.

In Hollywood, Botox is a paralyzing toxin that keeps the stars looking young by smoothing out every wrinkle and crease that years add to your face. But, in little boys (or girls) who have cerebral palsy, Botox makes their stiff muscles more flexible and relaxed which helps them to move more easily. They make a significant difference for Logan. So, even though it is a painful procedure, it is worth it. The process involves laying him on a table face down where his muscles are stretched and tugged to their limit and the numbers are recorded for a reference point. Then, everyone in the room, myself included, holds him down while the doctor inserts a three inch needle to the center of his left calf muscle in four different places to inject the toxin. From there they move down the leg to the heel cord where two more injections are precisely placed. Sometimes, depending on the flexibility measurements, they also inject his left forearm. This trip we were lucky enough to avoid the extra sticks.

If you want to be inspired, make a trip to Children’s Hospital. The waiting rooms are filled with boys and girls who face their procedures with bravery that most of us would question we even have. They are well aware of what is about to happen - the anxiety is written on their faces - but they do not turn and run (and I’m quite sure that I would). I think there is an understanding that whatever they are facing is an attempt to give them a better quality of life. With the Botox, Logan is convinced it makes him run faster. For this reason, he leaves every appointment jolting out the door with the speed of a major league baseball player striving to beat the ball to first base. Well, maybe not quite that fast (although he thinks he is).

The struggle as his parent is trying to decide when the benefit of the procedure is worth the pain, and when it’s more than he should have to bear. I have often said I will be glad when he is old enough to make the decisions for himself. Until then, we just trust that God will help us determine what is necessary and what is not. Any mother who has held a child to a table while they scream in pain knows the intensity of the task. You understand when I say that the mother in me wants to pick him up and run knocking every doctor aside while I flee (yes, I have actually had that vision). But, instead you bear down and repeatedly tell them it will be okay. You do it because you believe that’s what is best for them. So far, it has been worth the tears.
The Christian artist, Nichole Nordeman wrote a song for her son titled, “Brave”. The chorus sings, “So long status quo, I think I just let go, you make me want to be brave. The way it always was is no longer good enough, you make me want to be brave.” I think she stole my very words. So, when we return in July to have his face injected for the first time we will put on his favorite Mickey shirt and prepare to slay the dragon once again. I am sure there will be tears shed but I am also sure that he will once again amaze me with his bravery and I will be a better person for having known him.